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 The person who holds the kite strings is on the ground.  This is essential to the kite soaring.  If you are not on the ground, some pretty horrible things can happen to the kite, and maybe to you if you are flying on a runaway kite.  We are talking about Muslim nonprofits of course.  Many of my Islamic Estate Planning clients are board members in one or more organizations.  It’s a necessary service.  Over at the Ehsan Newsletter, the space where I write about Muslim nonprofits, I created a comprehensive guide for Muslim Board Members.  This is the group of people who are in the background.  They get little credit when things go well.  They take the blame when things go wrong.  They can and do go to jail on a fairly regular basis.

Please read my guide.  Let me know if you have any thoughts or comments.

P.S. 

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As an Islamic Estate Planning Attorney, I am interested in family dynamics.  A particular set up dynamics may come up when a family member decides to leave Islam.  If you are a believing Muslim parent, part of your worship to Allah is how you raise your children.  You obviously hope, pray and actively work for them being Muslim as they grow up, and carrying forward your values, at least the best of you.  Islam is important to you, at least I am assuming this since you are here.

This is where family dynamics come in.  See, many parents are disappointed with their grown children. Many grown children are similarly disappointed with their parents (or sometimes one of them).  Sure, a parent’s angst may have to do with who they married (this happens frequently); it may have to do with their chosen profession (less likely a problem).

The most tragic disappointment for many parents, though usually does not result in a cut-off of relations (and never should!), is when an adult child decides Islam is not for them.

A murtad (the word for someone who leaves Islam) child can bring an enormous sense of loss to parents.  Where did they go wrong, they will wonder.

Of course, I often think about my clients or people related to my clients, colleagues, and others.  Muslim families can be quite impressive.  As a parent myself, I wonder about what the secret sauce is for raising successful children.  By successful, I do not mean in terms of social status or wealth.  Those are cool too.  I mean their values.

I have come across a few situations:

• A mother is on her deathbed. One son is trying to get his mother to say the shahadah.  The other is on the other side of her bed, trying to get her to accept Jesus Christ as her Lord and savior.  She cannot speak on her deathbed.
• An older man needs to disinherit his child because his son, who has reached midlife with Muslim children and a Muslim wife, decides to leave Islam.
• A “confirmed bachelor” made his life in America through old age but is barely in touch with his family. He leaves very little to them (he does not have to follow the Islamic Rules of Inheritance), giving most to charity.  He wants to be buried the “Muslim way”- not as a Muslim, mind you, but quickly.  Nobody is better at burial than Muslims.

You [Prophet] cannot guide everyone you love to the truth; it is God who guides whoever He will: He knows best those who will follow guidance. -Quran 28:56. 

Prophets failed to penetrate the hearts of their family members and tribes before.  This scenario happened over and over again.  Guidance comes from Allah.  No Prophet of Allah, no king or dictator, can guide anyone Allah has not chosen for guidance.  No matter how gifted a parent or how many books, blog posts, YouTube videos, or parenting seminars, you may not be able to change your child’s path.  Of course, you do the best you can.  Parenting with Ihsan is part of our worship of Allah.  Some do this very well and are thriving.  Some do this horribly and make lots of mistakes, yet somehow end up with exceptional Muslim adult children.

Our journey is not about other people, even if those other people are your kin.  It is about you and how you fulfill your responsibilities (which includes the Islamic Rules of Inheritance, by the way).   You should also know that failure to be a Muslim does not mean a family member is a bad person; misguided people can be charming, polite, and perhaps successful in every other way.  They can be good to their parents and their community.  As tragic as it may be to have a family member who left Islam, remember these three principles:

Principle 1:  Never, ever, ever cut off family ties.  That does not mean you need to be in touch all the time,  lend money whenever asked, or put up with verbal or physical abuse.  It does mean you should leave a door open.  Your relationship with your family is part of your worship.

Principle 2:  Non-Muslims do not get an inheritance in Islam.  In many instances, parents simply assume their children are non-Muslim.  It may be because of some “statement of Kufr” or things other family members said. It is often because of something else, like who they married or political views (plenty of shockingly bad things are not necessarily kufr).

Principle 3: There are other ways to pass on wealth to Non-Muslim family members.  A lifetime gift is one; Wasiyyah is another.

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Please send this to anyone you think might benefit.

 

 

 

 

I have an updated article on Special Needs issues for Muslims.  It includes the ABLE Act, different kinds of Special Needs Trusts, and a discussion of how you plan if you are the one that starts to have special needs.  Please do read it and share it with those you think may find it useful.

You can find the article on Special Needs here.  Please let me know if you have any comments.

To schedule a 15-minute, no-obligation mini-consultation on Estate Planning for Muslims, click here.

 

 

 

 

What my clients are to do with human remains, the body, particularly organ donation is one that I have struggled to counsel on and is much different from Islamic Inheritance.

In learning about organ donations specifically, I have come across efforts by Muslims to explain why it is or is not ok.  I hope you can benefit from this post.  Maybe you won’t have a definitive answer, but you will start the struggle that will allow you to make a decision and be at peace with it.

Extremism in Defense of Medical Science is no Vice

In the early years of my practice, I did a lot of litigation around medical issues.  I used to take depositions of doctors and had to get to know medical controversies reasonably well. The lawyers at a large firm I worked at all decided to go, as a group, to the “Body Worlds” exhibit.  It was remarkable.  It included a mother and unborn infant, sliced in half.  There was someone playing basketball, his outstretched arm towards the sky, and his brain on the floor.  These were real bodies on display- once living, breathing human beings, using a plastic preservation process to display once-living people in vaguely artistic ways.  All of these people donated their bodies.

I was impressed by the exhibit.  At the same time, I did not understand why someone would permit themselves to be put on display in this manner, with a sense of flair and artistry that was not suitable for what I was seeing.  It was disrespectful and undignified, at least in my view.

In elementary schools, it is common for children to dissect frogs.  Medical students and other students of the anatomy need human corpses to slice up.   Can we, for educational purposes, donate our bodies as specimens for medical students cut up? How about using those remains for a museum exhibit?

For the Islamic Medical Association of North America (IMANA), there appear to be no restrictions on this kind of thing.

The problem with this type of conclusion, outside of any fiqh concerns (which I am not that interested in now since I’m not considering it), is that it’s hard to imagine most Muslims buying this.

You have honor, as does your body, which Allah has entrusted to you.  Instinctively I’m not too fond of the idea of donating your whole body.  However, if you prefer this, you have the Islamic Medical Association of North America to back you up.

You Have Dignity, Muslims Have Shown It

Muslims have well-founded rules on how to treat the human body.  We know that there is dignity in your body, and we cannot defile it.  We don’t do autopsies (though we make exceptions), we don’t cremate bodies, we don’t keep bodies in a freezer to give a party planner time to pick out venues and work with their schedules, book guest speakers and live music performances.

In most Muslim communities, the wheels are in motion for the burial right away.  We wait for a death certificate (or a certificate for burial), but not much more.  One fantastic thing about the Muslim community is that we prioritize burial like no other. As a general matter, we are better at it than anyone I have ever seen.

Whenever I advise Muslim clients about burial instructions, at least clients in the areas I serve most frequently, I often (not always) tell clients not to worry too much about it.  Those who conduct Janazah and burials in the Muslim community don’t need your help. If you already bought a burial plot in a cemetery, you can write that down with information about the burial plot you purchased.  If you have a preferred person to conduct the ghusul in your community, that is great.  Most people don’t have these preferences.

One of the instructions that we have on burial is that it needs to happen as quickly as possible.  A significant concern with donating organs (other than the dignity issue) is that it will delay the Janazah.

Organ Donations

There are two times you can donate your organs.  When you are alive, and when you are dead.  You can give away more of your body when you are dead than when you are alive (obviously).  Both situations have Islamic considerations.

The client concerns I deal with regularly have to do with organ donations after death.  There is a significant difference between donating a life-saving organ to someone who needs it and displaying your organ for a museum exhibit.

While we might assume one way a doctor can order up a 3D printed heart available the next day, that kind of technology does not exist now.  Now doctors need to get them from human bodies.

As you might imagine, the answer to “can I do this” is not as clear in Islam.  Almost ever since transplant technology became available decades ago, fatwa councils have been telling Muslims since the 1950’s that donating organs is beneficial and that you should do it.  If you think about it, societies with large Muslim populations would have difficulty saving lives through transplant technologies if there was a widespread view that organ donations were haram.

Death, Redefined

To further accommodate medical technology, governments, and religions worldwide rapidly redefined the definition of death itself.  It used to be that if your heart was still pumping blood and you were still breathing, you were alive.  Those days are long gone.  We legally define “brain death” as death.   Brain death is not a “persistent vegetative state,” It is not a coma, but where the brain is not working at all.  This whole thing happened to accommodate organ transplants.

Still, I know many Muslims are deeply uncomfortable with organ donations.  I don’t think it is clear that you should be an organ donor.  Before you decide, give this careful consideration.

A Helpful Resource

To help you make this decision, you can do worse than consulting with the University of Chicago’s “Initiative on Islam and Medicine.”  They have a helpful infographic on the various considerations for Muslims.  While it is clear Dr. Asim Padela (who leads the initiative) has an opinion, and the fact that it has logos of transplant agencies on it gives you a sense of what that is, the information presented is objective.  It does not hide the fact that scholars do think organ donation is prohibited in Islam and why, at least in general terms.    They also show the alternative as well as a description of the need.  Check it out here.

This subject is about the dignity of your body and your legacy.  It is not a subject where I would point my finger at you and tell you what to do.  If you struggle with it, you are not alone.

To schedule a 15-minute consultation for Islamic Estate Planning, click here.